So on Christmas Eve my family went to our home church. The program was really geared toward worshipping Christ. I worshipped, most of the time feeling like Christ and I were the only ones in the room. One of the cool things that our church does at the service is the Family Lord's Supper where the Patriarch gives of Christ's body and blood to his family (talk about worship). This year was special because Holt took from Christ (for the first time) in rembrance of Him.
Because we lost another son, Josiah Birch, this year, I anticipated some sadness. I did well. However, I didn't at all expect that Away in the Manger would emote such heaviness. I was really worshipping my Christ-child when the following verse spoke to me in a very personal way . . .
Be near me, Lord Jesus,
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray
Bless all the dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to heaven
To live with Thee there
I held my little fella in my hand the day that he was born. The intense tightening of my chest began again as I recalled the extreme pain of holding another dead child with my wife in tow. But, strangely, as I sang and listened to these lyrics . . . maybe for the first time . . . I realized that Anna Kay, John Crawford and Josiah Birch are in the DIRECT care of my Rescue. Never to endure a heavy burden in an earthly life.
For the first time in my life, for the first time since their deaths . . . I sang to my Lord with passionate meaning as I chokedback tears:
Be near me, Lord Jesus,
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever
And love me I pray
Bless all MY dear children
In Thy tender care
And take us to heaven
To live with Thee there
i luv u daddy
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